HAWAII's BEST-KEPT SECRET
(C) 2000 by Miss BB
On December 31st, I arrived in Honolulu, Hawaii
late afternoon. My flight over was a breeze after being up graded
to first class - it pays to have friends in high places.
Before I left my sunny California home I got
in contact with the Jesters M/C. When I arrived in Honolulu,
true to their word, there stood my very own Jester escort.
Mike (secretly known as Zipper Head Mike) could be spotted out
of a crowd of a thousand people with his pony tail and a well
worn leather vest displaying his past run pins and the Jester’s
deck-of-cards patch.
Poor Mike had to put up with a lot just to
pick up my sorry ass. Airport Security was hot on his heels as
he made his way through the terminal to my flight gate. Finally,
getting sick of their stupid-ass game he turned suddenly - surprising
the hell out of the Security Police and forcing them into a face-to-face
conference. Needless to say Mike didn’t have any more problems
or hassles.
The original plan was to pick me up at the
airport, drop me off at my hotel and come back some seven hours
later to take me back to the airport to meet Billy Gordon’s flight
coming in from Gisborne New Zealand. Billy had been touring
there for his Millennium Blow out as the Tri-National Anthem New
Year’s Eve concert headliner. Billy blew up his guitar at
the stroke of midnight New Zealand time. That was either
deliberate or it was one hell of a Y2K bug!
But plans have a way of changing. Mike
informed me that there was a Jester wedding taking
place that very afternoon at his house.
I eagerly asked if it would be all right if I attended.
Hell I’d much rather go to a biker wedding than sit
in a hotel room all by myself trying to kill seven
hours. Mike got on his handy-dandy cell phone and
just like that I was on my way to a biker wedding.
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
Shortly after arriving at Mike’s house I was
warmly greeted with hugs and friendly Jester smiles. I was told
that anything I needed, anything I wanted was all there just for
the asking. God I felt so spoiled…yeah buddy!
The Bride was very beautiful in her long white,
backless wedding dress accompanied by her pretty maid of honor
all dressed in blue. I figured Chili Pot, the Jester Groom, would
get hitched in his leather best, but he opted for a more traditional
look. His color-wearing Jester Brothers surrounded him and his
soon-to-be wife supporting their blissful union. The ceremony
was over by the time you could kick-start your Harley. The
count down for the New Year was just beginning.
The party soon left and took place at Jester
S.O.A. Bear’s house to celebrate the coming of the New 2000 Millennium.
Shit, celebrate isn’t the right word for it. I could hardly believe
my eyes or hear a damn thing by the end of the magic hour. I swore
I thought I had been transported back in time to World War two.
Hawaii does have a fire works law, which absolutely prohibits
any fire works other than hand held sparklers to be sold, used
and/or enjoyed. F__k no one, and I do mean no one, gave a shit
about that law and broke it all over the Island. Entire neighborhoods,
moms, dads, brothers, sisters, dogs and cats were shooting off
Arial fire works and bombs!
It didn’t take long for the air to turn into
a dark filled smoke thick fog. Mike and Bear couldn’t suck fast
enough on their inhalers. From Bear’s back yard fence I scanned
the horizon watching the beautiful light show courtesy of Hawaiian
partiers.
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
Time had arrived for me to leave the Jester
New Year Eve party and find my place at the airport to meet Billy.
Mike safely got me there, made sure I was at the correct location
and all my needs were met. I gave him a really big hug and bid
him goodbye until tomorrow when Billy was to perform at the Jesters
M/C 1st annual “Y2J (Jesters) Millennium Biker Rodeo.”
Billy’s plane landed early which was great
because the magic hour was fast approaching. He looked good after
flying so many hours, performing at a concert hours before in
Gisborne, New Zealand and not having slept for two days straight.
After renting a car we soon were on our way to find our hotel
in Waikiki - hopefully before midnight. It just wasn’t meant to
be. After getting lost and then stuck in some little neighborhood
side street, bombs exploding all around us, fire works and empty
shells falling to the ground on top of our heads and our rental
car. We pulled over to the side and celebrated the coming in of
the New 2000-Year with a hug and kiss.
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
The Jesters Millennium Biker Rodeo Event took place
at New Town & Country Stables in Waimanalo. The
cost to get in was only twenty dollars and that covered
all your beer, soda and food. The first 200
received a Y2Jesters beer mug. Biker games started
around 10:00am - slow races, weenie bite, potato
in the haystack, Chinese slippers, silent bike show
and rumors have it there were women, water and T-shirts!
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
Sunburn, a favorite on the Island and very
popular among the Jesters M/C, started cranking out their rock
n’ roll around 1:00pm. Billy was scheduled to join the band Sunburn
on stage during the second half of the gig. Meanwhile, back at
our hotel, Billy and I discovered someone had tried to break into
our rented car just as we were leaving for the Jesters event.
Shit, now we had to report it to the hotel security, which of
course called in Waikiki’s finest. After waiting for the local
law enforcement and filling out countless paper work we were finely
free to go. I always seem to get involved with the local law enforcement
where ever I go!
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
Billy and I made it to the Jesters event just
in time for the second gig. Joker, President of the Jesters M/C,
was relieved and happy to see us pull up. Mike volunteered his
hand built Harley Chopper for Billy’s show. Billy uses motorcycles
as an instrument through the effects of his guitar amplifier inducted
into the music. The crowd went wild, yelling, screaming and dancing
in the stands.
The Jesters 1st annual Biker Rodeo Event was
a huge success It ended around sun down. Bikes roared to life
as they rolled off into the incredible Hawaiin sunset. Joker invited
Billy and I to meet with them at one of their favorite strip club
watering holes later on that night. “Sure - that would be cool!”
Club Femme Nu wasn’t hard for us to find.
The didn’t allow me to bring in my camera, so sorry, folks, no
nude titties to show ya. It wasn’t hard to spot the Jesters
in the dark, smokey room, they had taken over the center stage
area. More hugs and handshakes were in order and we were met with
genuine friendship. Jesters M/C extends a warm welcome to visiting
bikers and had a visitor from Southern California Vago Chapter
there with them that night. I extended my own warm welcome and
hugged the out of state visitor and the drinking began.
Looking around I noticed three stages, each
holding about three girls. Every twenty minutes or so the girls
were called out to switch stages giving them all equal time and
all us perverts equal turn-ons without having to get up and change
our seats.
Now I’ve been in strip clubs before, God knows
along with countless of thousands bikers, that I love to strip
at biker events and rallies but this I’ve never seen before!
Girls usually start off at the top working their
way down, not so here. The girl pick out a customer, place their
mat in front of your face, bottoms gone and spread their legs
wide apart. Now you’re ready for your miners cap and light, settle
in and go cave exploring. Club Femme Nu gives new meaning to the
phase “Spread’em!”
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
Billy and I spent the next night walking the
streets of Waikiki and taking in some of the local sights. We
discovered a art museum called Lassen that displayed a Soft tail
Evolution Harley-Davidson. The custom paint job featured the ocean
sea with two Dolphins playing among colorful tropical fish. No
one around to stop me I got close to this beauty and snapped a
few photos. What a shame she will never see the open road or feel
the wind rushing by her powerful V-Twin engine.
After dining out at a local fresh seafood
restaurant, we decided it was time to head back to our hotel for
a good nights rest. The Jesters would be coming to pick us up
early in the morning for a personal biker style Motorcycle Island
tour.
The Jesters M/C had offered Billy a bike to
use for our bike tour but shit happens, uncontrollable out of
their hands they were unable to provide one. No big deal Billy
rented a midnight black 1999 Night Train Harley. Yeah this bitch
was a f—kin’ dream! With Ripper and Dwayne in the lead, our bike
tour was off and riding. God, how I love riding with no helmet
and in Hawaii this is legal!
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
The afternoon was just gorgeous for riding,
the sky was virgin blue and the vegetation was brilliant green.
With the Jesters, and their lady friends at our side, we took
to the windy and twisty roadways beside magnificent valleys with
the mountains looming down at us like sleeping giants.
We stopped for a drink at a local waterhole
were treated to a round of drinks courtesy of an old-timer who
loves bikers. Honored to be in our company, this crusty old soul
happily opened his wallet and solved our thirst problem.
Again true to their word, the Jesters gave
us a bike tour of the entire Island ending at yet another popular
Jesters strip club not far from our hotel. Again, I was not allowed
to bring in my camera. Damn! I never get a break! Dancers wasn’t
as nice as Club Femme Nu, this strip club was empty except for
a few working girls and one or two regulars. After a few drinks
Billy and I bid our thanks and gave our goodbye hugs to the Jesters
and their lovely lady friends.
Tomorrow we were going scuba diving…oh boy!
Everyone on our scuba diving adventure were
certified except Billy and I. Actually Billy had done it
one time before about ten years ago in a friends swimming pool,
but as far as for me…shit no! Half way down the lead rope
my scuba guide kept signaling me, “Are you OK?”
I kept signaling back, “Yes! Now live me alone!”
Could he do that, hell no. My brain decided to panic and
I was in trouble, I signaled my guide a million times to
take me back up top where I decided it would be in everyone’s
best interest if I just stayed on the boat.
Billy didn’t really want to go down without
me, but not wanting to look like a pussy, he went for it, twice!
After two tanks of creative drowning, feeling like he was fighting
for his life the whole time he was under, my brave Billy joined
me on the boat.
The next day we decided to take a tamer route,
the “Kuloa Adventure Day Tour.” Double horse back riding and a
kick ass ATV Dune Cycle ride on the Kuloa Mountain terrain. Ending
our Kuloa adventure with a tour to the “Cave Of Ghosts” a poltergeist
phenomenon by way of new high tech 3D sound system.
The Jesters had agreed to meet us later on
that night at a nightclub called, “Rhythm & Blues” where Billy
contacted a gig with the house band for a battle of the blues.
Dancers just happen to be located next door to the Rhythm &
Blues and that was where the Jesters hung out until we got to
the nightclub. Walking up to Dwayne he encircled his heavy arms
around my little petit body and lifted me up off the floor giving
me a biker hug from hell. Unfortunately the Jesters couldn’t stay
so Billy and I bid our final goodbye to our newfound biker brothers.
Hearing them roar off made me a little sad, for sure I would miss
them.
Our final night on the Island brought us to
a biker bar called, “Kickstand Café.” What a cool place
to stop by for a tall cold one or just to take a breather from
the everyday crap. There’s a full bar to serve your favorite poison,
a pool table begging for you to knock a few balls around and a
stage for live entertainment and even a motorcycle parts store!
If it’s not a cold beer you’re after - or a game of pool - and
you don’t need any parts -but you are in need of work on your
scoot, hell man, there’s even a motorcycle repair shop connected
to the bar too!
The owner of Kickstand Café told me
his shop/parts store/bar is the only one of its kind on the whole
Island. He also told me clubs or groups planning on taking a Hawaii
vacation trip to Honolulu call him from the states, reserving
his establishment for private parties and/or group gatherings.
I can see why, this is one kick ass place. If you ever find your
way to the Kickstand Café tell’m BB sent ya.
Is that the best-kept secret? No it’s not.
So what is the best-kept secret? Well I’ll
tell ya, a friend of mine who will remain nameless told me sometime
ago that there are no bikers in Hawaii, just a bunch of tourists
renting Harley’s and sure as hell no runs ever happenin’. WRONG!
Harley’s could be heard rumbling down the road all
hours of the day and night and, no, they weren’t tourist bikers.
I personally met several different patch clubs such as Jesters
M/C, Sons of Hawaii, Devils Breed, Vietnam Vets, Worldwide and
Satans Brigade - just to name a few. All in all, there are about
thirty separate biker clubs just on Oahu alone. Sunny skies, warm
weather, helmet free and countless roadways equals a biker’s paradise.
That my biker friends WAS The Best Kept Secret!
Special thanks to Joker, Mike, Ripper, Dwayne,
Buck, Bear, Mongo and all of the Jesters M/C members. If you would
like to know more about Billy
Gordon & The Blue Rockers or Sunburn
or the Kickstand
Café visit them on the web.
Aloha and Live Free
